I think I’ve been bottling things up lately. Not really on purpose- mostly due to a lack of opportunity to release everything. I’ve had a diary consistently for the past seven years now, and writing has become my outlet to which I ‘let it all out.’ But I’ve been too busy lately. My sister had a baby, I went to London (I’ve been on way too many airplanes in the past month), I’ve had an incredible amount of homework, I got used by a guy in my chemistry class for a good grade on a group project (who I used to be a bit head-over-heels for, I might add), etc etc. Things have been happening. And I haven’t written about a single one of them.
When I neglect to take the time to process everything that’s happened during the day, or even the week, the effects tend to manifest themselves physically. I get knots in my shoulders, I get exhausted, and my temperament becomes a bit irascible. Well, these things have been occurring quite a lot throughout the past month, so I finally decided I needed to do something about it.
I tried several things. Drinking tea (it made me nostalgic for London), playing the piano, doing yoga (although I’m still recovering from knee surgery). These things all helped a little bit, the tea gave me some energy, the piano made me a little happier, the yoga loosened up my muscles; but something was missing. The writing, I thought, was the obvious link.
Well, that’s partially true. Yes, it’s through writing that I calm down and get things out of my head and onto the paper. It’s like giving my brain a break- it can stop thinking about things because I’ve written them down. But I realized something. Normally, I write in my diary at night before I go to bed. However, there’s more to the routine. I usually read my Bible and spend some time in prayer either before or after I write. So when I decide I’m too exhausted to write that night, the other things get cut out, too. And therein lies the thin line between my well-being and my, well, not-so-well-being.
The writing is important, of course. It’s my outlet. I let my thoughts out through writing like I let my emotions out through piano. But it’s the time spent in God’s presence that really holds things together. So I encourage you that if you’re going through a similar phase of feeling overwhelmed, to look at your time spent with God. Because if that quiet time is suffering, everything else will, too.
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:4-5