Grudges and Forgiveness

Recently, a little drama went down in my chemistry class. I guess you could say things got a little explosive (insert that little drum sound effect that happens after punchlines here). I’m sorry. I’m aware that I’m bad at jokes, and I’ll try to steer clear of them in the future. Anyways, I’m going to give you a heads-up that for anyone no longer in high school, this story will seem completely trivial. But these things are a big deal to us teenagers.

We had this group project in chemistry class. It was pretty simple- do some research on a topic off of a list, write up a presentation, make a poster-board, etc. We all had partners, so it wasn’t technically a group project, I suppose. Anyways, I’m… really smart, and everyone knows it. I’ve learned to dread group projects because I’m that person that is constantly taken advantage of when it comes to them. But because I’m also a bit of a pushover, I usually comply and let the rest of my group take the credit for the work I’ve done.  Continue reading

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Firm Foundations

“My identity is found in Christ, not in this world.” I’ve often said these words to myself, whether they were out loud or just in my head being dependent on the situation. They’re just words- I could tell myself anything, such as, “I’m beautiful just the way I am,” or “I am unique and loved.” But I’ve chosen these specific words for a specific reason, one that I’d like to share.

I’ve always had some self-esteem issues. I used to tell myself things such as the two examples I mentioned above, but I saw no change. They really were just words, and they didn’t have any effect on me. And it was then that I realized I was looking for affirmation in all the wrong places.  Continue reading

Suck It Up

Several months ago, my knee surgeon told me that I would be able to audition for my theatre company’s next production in February, as long as I didn’t do things like jumping, running, or anything that would put too much stress on my knee. It was some of the best news I had received in a long time, as I had to miss out on the last show because of my surgery.

But we still had to ask the directors and make sure that I would be able to audition when my knee wouldn’t be at its full capacity for a few more months. I fully expected them to say that it was totally alright- I guess I got my hopes up after we talked to the surgeon. But it wasn’t alright. The directors told me that it would be in my best interest to sign up for the ensemble rather than audition for a lead, as the leads would need to be in top physical condition right off the bat. And I wouldn’t be.

When I heard this, I was bitter and upset. I didn’t get much done that day- my parents told me the unfortunate news in the morning and I spent the remaining hours wallowing in my self-pity. I was determined to stay bitter and just miss out on this show and wait until the Fall production.  Continue reading