Suck It Up

Several months ago, my knee surgeon told me that I would be able to audition for my theatre company’s next production in February, as long as I didn’t do things like jumping, running, or anything that would put too much stress on my knee. It was some of the best news I had received in a long time, as I had to miss out on the last show because of my surgery.

But we still had to ask the directors and make sure that I would be able to audition when my knee wouldn’t be at its full capacity for a few more months. I fully expected them to say that it was totally alright- I guess I got my hopes up after we talked to the surgeon. But it wasn’t alright. The directors told me that it would be in my best interest to sign up for the ensemble rather than audition for a lead, as the leads would need to be in top physical condition right off the bat. And I wouldn’t be.

When I heard this, I was bitter and upset. I didn’t get much done that day- my parents told me the unfortunate news in the morning and I spent the remaining hours wallowing in my self-pity. I was determined to stay bitter and just miss out on this show and wait until the Fall production. 

But the next day I went to see all my friends perform in the production I had missed out on- West Side Story. And something happened that changed my perspective and my mind. After the show, all of the actors go outside to take pictures with their friends and family, etc. So naturally I went to say hello. I was most looking forward to seeing two of my good friends, Jesse and Izabelle. They were completely unaware that I was coming to see the show. They both had similar reactions- screaming “ABBY!” and giving me a hug that lasted for a very long time. They were so happy to see me again.

And it made me realize- at my theatre company, we’re a family. We’re all strong Christians which gives us Christ in common- the most solid foundation you can get. And leads or not leads, we all love each other the same amount. I since joined the ensemble of Beauty and the Beast and have been to several rehearsals. Yes, it’s frustrating, because I have to wear my knee brace and I can’t do near as much dancing as I want to. But nobody is looking down on me because I’m ‘just in the ensemble.’ They love me for the person I am, not the part I play. And I think that was an important lesson for me to learn.

Sometimes we simply have to suck it up and swallow our pride. And while I am still getting that feeling in my stomach of, ‘I should be up there dancing with all the leads,’ that simply wasn’t God’s plan for me. God is pre-eminant in all things and His plans are better than ours. And my friends still love me. So I think it’s going to be okay.

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” – Proverbs 16:18

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a


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