I’ve always had difficulties fitting in. I grew up in a house full of 20-year-old college students (and my parents) and always felt sort of out of place with kids my age. All through elementary school and junior high I felt like people didn’t like me or accept me, so I avoided them, and became seriously antisocial. I had some friends at my church, but in the fifth grade we changed churches, and it took me a good four or five years to establish friendships there.
For a while in eighth and ninth grade I had some friends, but near the middle of ninth grade that feeling of being out of place crept up on me again. It got to the point where I decided to change schools (or rather, quit going to school- that’s when I decided to be fully homeschooled). I was kind of at an all time low, self-esteem-wise.
If you’ve been reading my blog recently, you know that my theatre company is in our final days of rehearsal before we open our current show. So I’ve been around those people a heck of a lot in the past couple of weeks. I’ve known most of them for a couple of years now, but as I mentioned before, it takes me about that long to establish relationships with people.
But I finally think they’ve been established. Hugging is kind of our culture at theatre (literally everyone hugs everyone), and I’ve found more and more people hugging me and saying how good it is to see me, and it’s sort of the first time in my life that I’ve felt so loved and like I truly did belong. I’ve found the place where I really can be myself without worrying, where I know people care about me. The best part is that we’re a Christian high school theatre group, so everyone is my age and believes the same way as me. There’s never short of a group of people ready to pray for whoever needs it at any given moment. It’s such an uplifting (and incredibly talented) community and I could not be more grateful that God led me to it.
I don’t really have an ‘inspiring realization’ or lesson to add to this post- it was just something that’s really been on my heart and that I wanted to share. I guess I would just say this: we have to trust God to lead us to the places He wants us to be- it may take time and the journey may suck a little bit, but He’ll get us there, and we won’t want to be anywhere else.
“‘Putting everything in subjection under his feet.’ Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him.” – Hebrews 2:8