Proper Introductions

You know, I just realized, I never properly introduced myself. I started this blog one night after I had knee surgery because I needed to do something to keep my mind off the pain. I never actually thought I would stick with it for more than a few weeks. But it’s been seven months now, so I think it’s about time for a bit of a backstory.

I’ve lived in SoCal my entire life, but I’d really like to believe I don’t fit the Orange County white girl stereotype. I’m a sophomore in high school and not quite 16 yet. I have three siblings, all of which are at least 12 years older than me, two of which are married, one of which has a baby. They’re scattered across the country (and across the world, in one of their cases), which is one of the reasons I travel so much. The other reason is that my dad is a pilot.

I really like to write (I think that’s probably an unnecessary statement at this point), and I love musical theatre. I’m also a bit of a nerd, and I spend a good amount of my free time teaching myself anatomy and organic chemistry. I’m also seriously introverted, and I have approximately two friends. They’re really close friends though, so it’s okay.

Both of my parents are Christian, and so I was raised in a Christian household. But it wasn’t really until I was 12 or 13 that I started to take my faith seriously. I was dealing with a lot of thyroid-related health issues and had a radioactive treatment done to basically kill my thyroid gland. I was really scared, and it was during that time that I really learned to depend on Christ and place Him at the center of my life.

Well, I think that’s about all you need to know about me. The rest you can sort of gather from the other things I’ve written. Anyways, thank you all for sticking around and reading my blog, and I hope you’ll continue to enjoy some of my adventures with me!

P.S. I truly can’t think of a good Bible verse to sum this up. So instead, here’s a generally wonderful one.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!” – Psalm 107:1

Advertisements

Passing By

I am reminded how fleeting life is.

A few days ago, a boy from my high school was killed in a motorcycle accident. He would have graduated next month. I didn’t really know him, but my friend Lena had a huge crush on him. How odd that the girl who nearly died had a crush on the boy who did die. I cannot imagine the pain that his family must be feeling right now.

Sometimes I feel like we as Christians shouldn’t be downtraught when a fellow believer dies- we’ll be seeing them again in heaven, right? And while we do certainly have that hope, it doesn’t mean that the grief is cancelled out. 

Life comes and goes in an instant. The only thing we can trust in to stay the same is God. He is the reason that we have the hope of eternal life. I don’t know why He allowed David to be killed. I don’t have the answers to questions that big. But I do believe there was a reason, and it’s all I can do to trust in Him. It’s all any of us can do. With a world that changes all too quickly, it only makes sense to place our dependance and our hope in the one thing that never does.

I realise this post was a bit all over the place, as I’m a little shaken up, and I apologise for that. I just felt this was something I needed to share.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. – Psalm 20:7

A Place For Talents

I had a piano recital last Saturday, and I royally screwed up. Okay, maybe not royally. Let’s just say, I wasn’t completely happy with how I played. My piece was a fifteen minute Beethoven sonata played from memory, which allows a lot of room for mistakes to be made. Anyways, I spent the next several days sulking. I didn’t feel good about the performance, and in turn, I didn’t feel good about myself. I’ve always known that I don’t play half as well as I usually can at recitals- it’s just something about all those people.

Directly after the recital, I went home and straight upstairs into my room, where I remained, wallowing in self-pity. I’ve always placed a lot of stock into playing the piano, and when my performances don’t go as I’d like, it crushes my soul a little bit. I end up telling myself that I’m just horrible at the piano, and everything, really. Then today happened.  Continue reading

Grudges and Forgiveness

Recently, a little drama went down in my chemistry class. I guess you could say things got a little explosive (insert that little drum sound effect that happens after punchlines here). I’m sorry. I’m aware that I’m bad at jokes, and I’ll try to steer clear of them in the future. Anyways, I’m going to give you a heads-up that for anyone no longer in high school, this story will seem completely trivial. But these things are a big deal to us teenagers.

We had this group project in chemistry class. It was pretty simple- do some research on a topic off of a list, write up a presentation, make a poster-board, etc. We all had partners, so it wasn’t technically a group project, I suppose. Anyways, I’m… really smart, and everyone knows it. I’ve learned to dread group projects because I’m that person that is constantly taken advantage of when it comes to them. But because I’m also a bit of a pushover, I usually comply and let the rest of my group take the credit for the work I’ve done.  Continue reading

Firm Foundations

“My identity is found in Christ, not in this world.” I’ve often said these words to myself, whether they were out loud or just in my head being dependent on the situation. They’re just words- I could tell myself anything, such as, “I’m beautiful just the way I am,” or “I am unique and loved.” But I’ve chosen these specific words for a specific reason, one that I’d like to share.

I’ve always had some self-esteem issues. I used to tell myself things such as the two examples I mentioned above, but I saw no change. They really were just words, and they didn’t have any effect on me. And it was then that I realized I was looking for affirmation in all the wrong places.  Continue reading

Suck It Up

Several months ago, my knee surgeon told me that I would be able to audition for my theatre company’s next production in February, as long as I didn’t do things like jumping, running, or anything that would put too much stress on my knee. It was some of the best news I had received in a long time, as I had to miss out on the last show because of my surgery.

But we still had to ask the directors and make sure that I would be able to audition when my knee wouldn’t be at its full capacity for a few more months. I fully expected them to say that it was totally alright- I guess I got my hopes up after we talked to the surgeon. But it wasn’t alright. The directors told me that it would be in my best interest to sign up for the ensemble rather than audition for a lead, as the leads would need to be in top physical condition right off the bat. And I wouldn’t be.

When I heard this, I was bitter and upset. I didn’t get much done that day- my parents told me the unfortunate news in the morning and I spent the remaining hours wallowing in my self-pity. I was determined to stay bitter and just miss out on this show and wait until the Fall production.  Continue reading

Release

I think I’ve been bottling things up lately. Not really on purpose- mostly due to a lack of opportunity to release everything. I’ve had a diary consistently for the past seven years now, and writing has become my outlet to which I ‘let it all out.’ But I’ve been too busy lately. My sister had a baby, I went to London (I’ve been on way too many airplanes in the past month), I’ve had an incredible amount of homework, I got used by a guy in my chemistry class for a good grade on a group project (who I used to be a bit head-over-heels for, I might add), etc etc. Things have been happening. And I haven’t written about a single one of them.

When I neglect to take the time to process everything that’s happened during the day, or even the week, the effects tend to manifest themselves physically. I get knots in my shoulders, I get exhausted, and my temperament becomes a bit irascible. Well, these things have been occurring quite a lot throughout the past month, so I finally decided I needed to do something about it.  Continue reading