Purpose in Trials

I know that I’ve written about my knee surgery before, but I want to talk about it coming from a different angle. A few nights ago at my youth group we had a lesson on the purpose of obstacles in our lives. Afterwards we were encouraged to share an obstacle that God had put in our lives, and how we had changed because of it. That question really started me thinking about some of the major things I’ve gone through- my knee surgery being one of them.

I decided to look at the different aspects of my life surrounding the time I tore my ACL. For the couple of weeks prior, I had been going back and forth between whether or not I wanted to do the next show with my theatre group, or take a semester off. This decision was giving me a lot of anxiety. I felt as if whichever way I decided to go, I would regret my choice. So I had prayed for days- asking God what He thought I should do. I didn’t really expect a physical sign- but wow, did I get one.  Continue reading

Advertisements

Patience and Providence

My parents and I recently went to visit my sister in Pennsylvania. We had a nice visit and got to babysit my little 6-month old nephew! But our trip came to an end, and we had to come home. Let’s just say I came very close to about four breakdowns.

My dad is a pilot, so my family flies standby, meaning that we can get on flights for free as long as there are empty seats. So we were listed on a flight to Los Angeles and everything was looking good. Then they had to call in a reserve pilot (the original guy called in sick or fatigued or something) and the flight was delayed 2 hours until he could get to the airport. Then, once we were all on the airplane, weather issues caused the number of departures allowed to seriously decrease, and we ended up waiting in a line of airplanes on the runway for another 2 and a half hours. Then we were the first in line- nearly ready to go- and a lady couldn’t get her two year old to sit in his seat. The mom was trying really hard and I felt really bad for her, but because of flying regulations, the plane couldn’t take off until he was in his seat. But that wasn’t happening. Continue reading

Belonging

I’ve always had difficulties fitting in. I grew up in a house full of 20-year-old college students (and my parents) and always felt sort of out of place with kids my age. All through elementary school and junior high I felt like people didn’t like me or accept me, so I avoided them, and became seriously antisocial. I had some friends at my church, but in the fifth grade we changed churches, and it took me a good four or five years to establish friendships there.

For a while in eighth and ninth grade I had some friends, but near the middle of ninth grade that feeling of being out of place crept up on me again. It got to the point where I decided to change schools (or rather, quit going to school- that’s when I decided to be fully homeschooled). I was kind of at an all time low, self-esteem-wise.  Continue reading

Amidst the Mayhem

June is production month. I’m talking about theatre, of course. June is when I drive an hour to the theatre every single day to either have a rehearsal, work the other cast’s rehearsal, have a show, or work a show. Every single day. Except Sundays. It’s kind of insane; fortunately I’m already out of school or else I might drop dead.

Unfortunately, I got a really terrible cold several days ago. First I got a fever (while I was working backstage) and while I suspected it, I didn’t know for sure until I got home. I then broke the fever in ten minutes by trying to sleep under like five blankets. The next day I felt fine, but the day after that I completely lost my voice. I couldn’t say a word. I communicated through sign language and in one specific case, lip reading (there’s an incredibly talented lip reader on my set crew). The day after that the rest of the cold hit me, and it was pretty horrible. And amidst all this I was still going to all my rehearsals.  Continue reading

Proper Introductions

You know, I just realized, I never properly introduced myself. I started this blog one night after I had knee surgery because I needed to do something to keep my mind off the pain. I never actually thought I would stick with it for more than a few weeks. But it’s been seven months now, so I think it’s about time for a bit of a backstory.

I’ve lived in SoCal my entire life, but I’d really like to believe I don’t fit the Orange County white girl stereotype. I’m a sophomore in high school and not quite 16 yet. I have three siblings, all of which are at least 12 years older than me, two of which are married, one of which has a baby. They’re scattered across the country (and across the world, in one of their cases), which is one of the reasons I travel so much. The other reason is that my dad is a pilot.

I really like to write (I think that’s probably an unnecessary statement at this point), and I love musical theatre. I’m also a bit of a nerd, and I spend a good amount of my free time teaching myself anatomy and organic chemistry. I’m also seriously introverted, and I have approximately two friends. They’re really close friends though, so it’s okay.

Both of my parents are Christian, and so I was raised in a Christian household. But it wasn’t really until I was 12 or 13 that I started to take my faith seriously. I was dealing with a lot of thyroid-related health issues and had a radioactive treatment done to basically kill my thyroid gland. I was really scared, and it was during that time that I really learned to depend on Christ and place Him at the center of my life.

Well, I think that’s about all you need to know about me. The rest you can sort of gather from the other things I’ve written. Anyways, thank you all for sticking around and reading my blog, and I hope you’ll continue to enjoy some of my adventures with me!

P.S. I truly can’t think of a good Bible verse to sum this up. So instead, here’s a generally wonderful one.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!” – Psalm 107:1

Passing By

I am reminded how fleeting life is.

A few days ago, a boy from my high school was killed in a motorcycle accident. He would have graduated next month. I didn’t really know him, but my friend Lena had a huge crush on him. How odd that the girl who nearly died had a crush on the boy who did die. I cannot imagine the pain that his family must be feeling right now.

Sometimes I feel like we as Christians shouldn’t be downtraught when a fellow believer dies- we’ll be seeing them again in heaven, right? And while we do certainly have that hope, it doesn’t mean that the grief is cancelled out. 

Life comes and goes in an instant. The only thing we can trust in to stay the same is God. He is the reason that we have the hope of eternal life. I don’t know why He allowed David to be killed. I don’t have the answers to questions that big. But I do believe there was a reason, and it’s all I can do to trust in Him. It’s all any of us can do. With a world that changes all too quickly, it only makes sense to place our dependance and our hope in the one thing that never does.

I realise this post was a bit all over the place, as I’m a little shaken up, and I apologise for that. I just felt this was something I needed to share.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. – Psalm 20:7

A Place For Talents

I had a piano recital last Saturday, and I royally screwed up. Okay, maybe not royally. Let’s just say, I wasn’t completely happy with how I played. My piece was a fifteen minute Beethoven sonata played from memory, which allows a lot of room for mistakes to be made. Anyways, I spent the next several days sulking. I didn’t feel good about the performance, and in turn, I didn’t feel good about myself. I’ve always known that I don’t play half as well as I usually can at recitals- it’s just something about all those people.

Directly after the recital, I went home and straight upstairs into my room, where I remained, wallowing in self-pity. I’ve always placed a lot of stock into playing the piano, and when my performances don’t go as I’d like, it crushes my soul a little bit. I end up telling myself that I’m just horrible at the piano, and everything, really. Then today happened.  Continue reading